Totally Nuts About...

The Two-State Solution Goes to Afghanistan

I'm not aware of any suggestions for a "Two-State" solution in Afghanistan, but since it works so well everywhere else I'm thinking let's give it a go here.

For those of you who are not familiar with the situation, the Afghan government has nominal control over most of the country. The trouble is in the Southeast of the country where the Pastun people dominate. Pashtuns cover the border region between Afghanistan and Pakistan. They have their own language and customs and they are the most extreme islamist ethnic group in the region. These are the same people who have given refuge to Osama Bin-Laden.

My suggestion is that President Karzai recognise Pashtun claims to their own country, and then immediately declare war on them, conquer them, annex the territory and invite them to either swear fealty to the Government in Kabul or go elsewhere.

Abusrd? Well, yes really it is, but that is the nature of "Two-State" solutions. It is also absurd because Karzai's government lacks the military power to do it. What is more believable to me is that if ever the government in Kabul has the power it will quietly engage in a pogrom against Pashtuns and the bulk of them will flee to Pakistan. This is the normal behaviour of muslim governments.

I really doubt that the government in Kabul will ever be able to control its southeastern border, but if they do then the Pashtuns (and OBL) will become entirely Pakistans problem. (and we know we can trust them to do the right thing, don't we?)

The "Two to the N" State Solution

Here's a newsflash, Gaza is a mess. The idea that this can become a state in the conventional sense anytime soon is obvious balderdash.

Warfare between the Hamas and Fatah factions is continuous, dirty and nasty and not anywhere near ending. One can give a lot of reasons for this conflict, but until I see something to indicate otherwise I believe that the conflict is purely greed for political power, and through that the international largesse that Gaza receives, theorhetically to promote statehood. Ironic? Well, not really. In the muslim world there is no irony in the idea that subsidies lead to more rather than less rancor and violence.

In the last couple of days I've heard the suggestion that the microscopic territory ofGaza be divided in to two "states" in hope of resolving the conflict. This, I would argue is not going to solve anything, but rather than argue about that, I'll go with the underlying priciple and take it to its logical conclusion.

So my proposal for Gaza is:
1. Divide it in to a Hamas and a Fatah state. Divide the largesse between the two. (Hell, increase the total if you want. It can't make things worse really.)
2. When the resulting states fall in to interecine warfare, divide those among the two factions.
3. Repeat until the violence stops.

You might think, "but that's absurd."

Of course it is, but I believe it is the only way we are going to demonstrate to the beloved "international community" that there is no peace to be had among arabs in Gaza.

There is one other way: Stop the largesse. No more money for nothing. Let them actually build a nation for themselves. You think it will never happen? Fine, propose something that doesn't perpetuate the problem. 50 years of insisting on a state for this people has led us to where we are.